A Nightmare on Elm Street

I've seen every Nightmare on Elm Street movie. This is the worst. The story is over-familiar. A dead man comes back for revenge on parents who killed him years ago, and decides to kill their teenaged kids. His name is Freddy Kreuger, he has a theme song, and he kills people with razor sharp knifes on a leather glove. In this version, when people die, no one cares. Everyone looks out for themselves. Also, a terrible event transpired years ago, where Freddy, then a gardener, had a great relationship with all the kids. Unfortunately, Freddy (played in this version by Jackie Earle Haley instead of the usual Robert Englund) molested all of these kids. As teenagers, not only do they not remember what happened back in preschool, but they don't remember they all went to school together. Not only is this hard to believe, but so is the stupidity of everyone in the film. Everyone uses tired lines like "We have to do something!" or the ever-present "Just don't fall asleep!" This NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET is sick and gross. Everyone dies as if they were being crossed out on a list, and the film is so inane, that that is what is actually happening. Not only are the nightmares not even happening on Elm Street, but Freddy Kreuger ends up looking like a retarded, alien, snake. Even by a schlock standard, no one in the film is interesting, and their kills are boring. We learn about twenty minutes into the film, that after seventy-two hours of being awake, we start dreaming while we're awake, and then we go into a coma and die anyway. Basically, there's nothing anyone can do in the film, except wait for their turn to be killed. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET is stupid and dumb, sick and actually pretty boring. It's impossible to care.
A Nightmare on Elm Street: ★