Machete

Machete is supposed to be loud, dumb, and silly. It is loud, dumb, and silly. But it's also a lot of fun because it knows what it is and the director (Robert Rodriguez of the Spy Kids movies and Sin City) plays with old Grindhouse themes and grungy camerawork to give it the right feel. Machete (Danny Trejo) is an ex-federale. He was framed for a murder by the evil drug lord played by Steven Seagal and now his life is about to get a hell of a lot worse because of a senator played by Robert De Niro and a sinister politico played by Jeff Fahey. So, Machete has to bust a lot of skulls, cut open a lot of faces with knifes, and he eventually establishes a mexican resistance with the help of Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba. The entire movie is pretty ridiculous and gory. A lot of people get killed for no reason and a lot of scenes seem almost arbitrary. However, Machete is essentially schlock. It's very fun if you know what you're going to get going into it.
Machete: ★★★